2019
2019 has been my favorite year to date. The first quarter was fun and chaotic because I had this new job (yay, income!) and was also trying to explore as much as possible. For my birthday in April, I had my friends from home (Michele, Meggan, & Regina) fly out and we rented a house in Joshua Tree. It was a long weekend filled with so much laughter and so many mushrooms. Alyssa and Mike joined the trip along with our neighbor, Aliyah, and Mike’s cousin Zach. Aliyah, Alyssa, and Zach had never done mushrooms. I remember at one point Aliyah walked out of the bathroom and was like “SARAH!!! The WALLS are MOVING!!!” …welcome to the trip, Aliyah! Alyssa, who has anxiety and depression, felt normal (on shrooms) for the first time in her life. I will forever be pro-psychedelics for healing. This house had everything. A pool, fireplace, cool artsy set up out front for pictures, a little desert golf driving range, and a garage with games. It was magic. At one point we wanted to start gaze so we dragged every pillow and blanket we could find out into the middle of the sand driveway that was referred to as “the pit.” It was the best night ever. Honestly, top moment of my life. I was the most present I had ever been in any moment and knew at that time that it would be a core memory. This is how my year started off, and it only got better. I met TJ on Tinder (lol) and ended up having such an epic adventure filled year. He was my “yes man,” down for anything. Two weeks after we met, I said “wanna go to Channel Islands?” and he said yup just name the date. I have tried this with people since then and they are never down for adventure. I hope that I find someone like him again. I was living a life I could never have imagined, but towards the end of 2019 I felt like I needed change again. I had survived this cross country move and created a new comfort zone. I wanted more growth, so I asked the universe “this has been hard, but incredible, I’m ready for more!”
Jobe gifted me Clippers tickets for us to use and the seats were 4th row. We ended up on the kiss cam which had always been a funny bucket list item for me. A weekend away in the San Bernadino Mountains? Yes, please! Kayaking at Big Bear? Sign me up. Joshua Tree? Let’s go! He would always comment how we were doing some really epic things together, but he had a sad tone about him which should have been a sign. He had moved out here just before I did with his girlfriend of 4 years so he could work at Netflix. She broke up with him and moved back to Georgia and then I met him. I was the rebound, which is tough, but I also had the most fun that year and would do it over and over again if I had to. Things started getting a little weird around Thanksgiving and by Christmas I couldn’t hold it in anymore. “What are we?” after 8 months of acting like a couple was a hard conversation to have. It was a conversation that we should have had long ago. The new year began, and we ended. It’s weird to think that it took me 29 years to experience real heartbreak. I remember the day it ended I drove home and sat in the parking garage crying hysterically in my car. I couldn’t move. I tried to text Alyssa to come get me, but there was no service. Welcome to 2020, Sarah. It’s going to be a hell of a year, buckle up.
